One thing that bothers me to pieces is when people say "I was abused as a child, so that is why I am the way I am" or "I had a bad childhood so that is why I steal". This is flat out utter BS! You CHOOSE to wake up in a good mood or a bad one, you CHOOSE to steal, you CHOOSE to abuse your children. NOBODY made you do anything. I have had a rough childhood: abused, neglected and belittled, but I CAN DO ANYTHING I PUT MY MIND ON!!! You hinder yourself, not others. You are the one that put limitations on your achievements, goals and dreams. The sky is the limit for anyone, no matter their past.
I do not allow my past to interfere with my present or future. I do believe that your past influences you. However you can either learn from your past and try to make a better future for yourself, or you can make excuses for your life because of what you've been through. Your past can impact how you make decisions, but do not make excuses based on your past for any bad decisions. Making excuses for how you live and what you do with your life based on your past is unacceptable. It happened, whatever it is, it happened. Now learn from it, don't let it happen again, fight for what is right and move on. Take what you know and try to change the world... FOR THE BETTER!
God has put you in a situation so you can learn from it, not try to gain pity from others for it. It is unfair to society for you not to grow up and be a productive member of the world. Teach others how not to be... Give back to the world... Be supportive of someone going through the same thing. Just please, please do not blame your past on how you live your life. You can overcome, adapt and live a very good, positive life just choose to! It's as simple as waking up in the morning and saying to yourself, this is going to be a good day!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Friday, October 21, 2011
Forgive
Forgive: to cease to feel resentment against; to forgive one's enemies.
What a strong word. Forgive. For give. What does it mean to forgive someone? How do you forgive if someone has taken something from you and you will never get it back? What do you need to do to truly forgive somebody?
I, without a doubt, think you can forgive anybody for any wrong doing they have done to you. You CAN forgive someone who stole something from you, you CAN forgive someone who lied to you and you CAN forgive someone who took your innocence and childhood. This I know, because I can honestly say that I have forgiven my offenders. Does this mean that I feel that they deserve any less then what justice has called for? NO, it means that in MY heart and MY mind I have released them. I have let go of the negative energy that has surrounded my heart and my being that was associated with them. I have decided to turn a horrible memory and past into something that can help others. I have chosen to break the cycle.
So how did I do it? How do you forgive someone that almost killed one of your brothers and that injured your littlest sister so badly she will never live a normal life? How do you forgive a person or persons that neglected general care to you and all four of your siblings? Basically it is hard, very hard. I won't lie to you, it was the most difficult thing I have EVER done in my life. To release the hatred and resentment that I felt for them. To move on with my life, to change my path, to look up and actually see a shining sun at the end of it all. It is a long road to forgiveness; lots of twists, forks and yes, sometimes walking in circles. But once you get your heart right and give yourself enough time to process everything you will see the right path to take. The first step in forgiveness is allowing yourself time to grieve your loss. The second step is to start healing, and once you have reached a point where you have a clear thought process and are strong you can start the final step of forgiving. Everyone's path is different and unique, this is because everyone has a different outlook on life and different circumstances. This path to forgiveness is not a one size fits all. Finding your path should be your ultimate goal after someone has done wrong to you, no matter how badly the person hurt you.
The problem with all this resentment, anger and raw negativity is that it effects you in numerous ways. You might get ill more or your relationships with those you care about will become distant. Loving yourself and others will become hard, almost impossible. You will never be free to live your life until you forgive. The negativity will weigh you down and you will find that rising to your greatest potential will be a greater struggle. If you loose the negative feelings, open your heart and release the bad energy you will feel free. You will soar to greater heights, ones you never expected.
Forgiving people has been a struggle throughout my teenage and young adult life. Now in my late 20's I can see what it means to truly forgive someone and release them from your life completely. This does not mean that I need to accept that person(s) back into my life. Everybody gets a choice if they want to rekindle a relationship with the person that hurt them or not. Forgiveness and relationships do not go hand in hand, they are completely separate entities. Forgiveness does not equal a relationship. In my case I have chosen to forgive and not continue a relationship with the people that hurt me and my siblings. It is a personal choice and nobody should ever judge you for your decision.
Forgive. Do it for yourself. It will benefit you more then the person that has harmed you. It will release you of unneeded negative energy. It will allow you to reach your greatest potential. It is more of a selfish act then what most people realize.
What a strong word. Forgive. For give. What does it mean to forgive someone? How do you forgive if someone has taken something from you and you will never get it back? What do you need to do to truly forgive somebody?
I, without a doubt, think you can forgive anybody for any wrong doing they have done to you. You CAN forgive someone who stole something from you, you CAN forgive someone who lied to you and you CAN forgive someone who took your innocence and childhood. This I know, because I can honestly say that I have forgiven my offenders. Does this mean that I feel that they deserve any less then what justice has called for? NO, it means that in MY heart and MY mind I have released them. I have let go of the negative energy that has surrounded my heart and my being that was associated with them. I have decided to turn a horrible memory and past into something that can help others. I have chosen to break the cycle.
So how did I do it? How do you forgive someone that almost killed one of your brothers and that injured your littlest sister so badly she will never live a normal life? How do you forgive a person or persons that neglected general care to you and all four of your siblings? Basically it is hard, very hard. I won't lie to you, it was the most difficult thing I have EVER done in my life. To release the hatred and resentment that I felt for them. To move on with my life, to change my path, to look up and actually see a shining sun at the end of it all. It is a long road to forgiveness; lots of twists, forks and yes, sometimes walking in circles. But once you get your heart right and give yourself enough time to process everything you will see the right path to take. The first step in forgiveness is allowing yourself time to grieve your loss. The second step is to start healing, and once you have reached a point where you have a clear thought process and are strong you can start the final step of forgiving. Everyone's path is different and unique, this is because everyone has a different outlook on life and different circumstances. This path to forgiveness is not a one size fits all. Finding your path should be your ultimate goal after someone has done wrong to you, no matter how badly the person hurt you.
The problem with all this resentment, anger and raw negativity is that it effects you in numerous ways. You might get ill more or your relationships with those you care about will become distant. Loving yourself and others will become hard, almost impossible. You will never be free to live your life until you forgive. The negativity will weigh you down and you will find that rising to your greatest potential will be a greater struggle. If you loose the negative feelings, open your heart and release the bad energy you will feel free. You will soar to greater heights, ones you never expected.
Forgiving people has been a struggle throughout my teenage and young adult life. Now in my late 20's I can see what it means to truly forgive someone and release them from your life completely. This does not mean that I need to accept that person(s) back into my life. Everybody gets a choice if they want to rekindle a relationship with the person that hurt them or not. Forgiveness and relationships do not go hand in hand, they are completely separate entities. Forgiveness does not equal a relationship. In my case I have chosen to forgive and not continue a relationship with the people that hurt me and my siblings. It is a personal choice and nobody should ever judge you for your decision.
Forgive. Do it for yourself. It will benefit you more then the person that has harmed you. It will release you of unneeded negative energy. It will allow you to reach your greatest potential. It is more of a selfish act then what most people realize.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Why "Transformations of a Caterpillar"
I chose the title of my blog, Transformations of a Caterpillar, because that is how I see myself. I feel that as a child I was so ugly. Not necessarily in a physical way, although I have struggled with my outward appearance, but on the inside, where I came from and what I knew. I had the sins of my "parents" to carry around, I was different, I was not comfortable in my own skin, I was pushed around and most of all until I was in my mid teens I felt completely and utterly alone as well as unloved. Much is the same as a caterpillar, although I think they know that they are destined for a beautiful life of fluttering. But at the stage that they are a caterpillar and they are by no means "beautiful", they don't socialize and I'm sure they enter a point in their lives that they are not comfortable in their own skin, thus the amazing transformation. Caterpillars grow so fast that they can shed their skin up to 5 times before they make the amazing transformation. I too know that feeling. Ok, so I never shed my skin, however I did have massive growing pains. I am 6'3.5"!!! In junior high I quit playing basketball, a sport that I love, because by growing pains were outrageous!
I am a strong resilient person, but it came at a price. I don't easily trust people, I keep my emotions (until now) to myself, I guard my heart with a massive stone wall and I always second guess peoples intentions. I am headstrong and persistent, but also very caring and nurturing. A caterpillar must be fond of these feelings as well. They are extremely protective of themselves, as bigger creatures (birds) like to eat them! They can be poisonous or even spray acid at their attacker. What super sneaky creatures they are! Caterpillars eventually will change into a beautiful creature, a Butterfly! They will then flutter around and make people smile. What was once considered a nuisance is now a much needed pollinator! They also aid in eating insects that may be harmful to crops. They migrate and socialize. They are beautifully delicate and smart, they can blend into their surroundings and also show off their flair.
I want to be that one day, I want to transform into a butterfly!
New At This! :)
Hello All!!!
I am going to start this blog so that I may finally start my life diary! I hope to make this something that my friends and family can come to to try and gain a better understanding of me AND to help keep up with my crazy life!!! I also want this to be the founding of my book that I have tried writing time and time again. I hope to inspire other kids who have come from my background and to share my viewpoint on a few issues concerning foster care. I have been on 2 of the 3 sides of this 'system' and see many flaws. I guess I want this blog to be a site that will answer a few questions, share my life story and make people think about their actions.
I have learned that everyone has had heartache. It may be something that the general public considers great or insignificant, but the point is is that it was significant to you. Every event in our lives influences our choices later in life. Everyone is handed a set of circumstances and it is up to us as individuals to react POSITIVELY to those circumstances. It is hard, but life isn't what makes or break us, it is how we handle life that makes or breaks us!
If you have any questions feel free to leave a comment and I will address it ASAP! :) I am a graduate student, so time may sometimes lapse before I can sign back on and make a decent statement, but I will get to it!
I am going to start this blog so that I may finally start my life diary! I hope to make this something that my friends and family can come to to try and gain a better understanding of me AND to help keep up with my crazy life!!! I also want this to be the founding of my book that I have tried writing time and time again. I hope to inspire other kids who have come from my background and to share my viewpoint on a few issues concerning foster care. I have been on 2 of the 3 sides of this 'system' and see many flaws. I guess I want this blog to be a site that will answer a few questions, share my life story and make people think about their actions.
I have learned that everyone has had heartache. It may be something that the general public considers great or insignificant, but the point is is that it was significant to you. Every event in our lives influences our choices later in life. Everyone is handed a set of circumstances and it is up to us as individuals to react POSITIVELY to those circumstances. It is hard, but life isn't what makes or break us, it is how we handle life that makes or breaks us!
If you have any questions feel free to leave a comment and I will address it ASAP! :) I am a graduate student, so time may sometimes lapse before I can sign back on and make a decent statement, but I will get to it!
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