Forgive

Forgive: to cease to feel resentment against; to forgive one's enemies.

What a strong word. Forgive. For give. What does it mean to forgive someone? How do you forgive if someone has taken something from you and you will never get it back? What do you need to do to truly forgive somebody?

I, without a doubt, think you can forgive anybody for any wrong doing they have done to you. You CAN forgive someone who stole something from you, you CAN forgive someone who lied to you and you CAN forgive someone who took your innocence and childhood. This I know, because I can honestly say that I have forgiven my offenders. Does this mean that I feel that they deserve any less then what justice has called for? NO, it means that in MY heart and MY mind I have released them. I have let go of the negative energy that has surrounded my heart and my being that was associated with them. I have decided to turn a horrible memory and past into something that can help others. I have chosen to break the cycle.

So how did I do it? How do you forgive someone that almost killed one of your brothers and that injured your littlest sister so badly she will never live a normal life? How do you forgive a person or persons that neglected general care to you and all four of your siblings? Basically it is hard, very hard. I won't lie to you, it was the most difficult thing I have EVER done in my life. To release the hatred and resentment that I felt for them. To move on with my life, to change my path, to look up and actually see a shining sun at the end of it all. It is a long road to forgiveness; lots of twists, forks and yes, sometimes walking in circles. But once you get your heart right and give yourself enough time to process everything you will see the right path to take. The first step in forgiveness is allowing yourself time to grieve your loss. The second step is to start healing, and once you have reached a point where you have a clear thought process and are strong you can start the final step of forgiving. Everyone's path is different and unique, this is because everyone has a different outlook on life and different circumstances. This path to forgiveness is not a one size fits all. Finding your path should be your ultimate goal after someone has done wrong to you, no matter how badly the person hurt you.

The problem with all this resentment, anger and raw negativity is that it effects you in numerous ways. You might get ill more or your relationships with those you care about will become distant. Loving yourself and others will become hard, almost impossible. You will never be free to live your life until you forgive. The negativity will weigh you down and you will find that rising to your greatest potential will be a greater struggle. If you loose the negative feelings, open your heart and release the bad energy you will feel free. You will soar to greater heights, ones you never expected.

Forgiving people has been a struggle throughout my teenage and young adult life. Now in my late 20's I can see what it means to truly forgive someone and release them from your life completely. This does not mean that I need to accept that person(s) back into my life. Everybody gets a choice if they want to rekindle a relationship with the person that hurt them or not. Forgiveness and relationships do not go hand in hand, they are completely separate entities. Forgiveness does not equal a relationship. In my case I have chosen to forgive and not continue a relationship with the people that hurt me and my siblings. It is a personal choice and nobody should ever judge you for your decision.

Forgive. Do it for yourself. It will benefit you more then the person that has harmed you. It will release you of unneeded negative energy. It will allow you to reach your greatest potential. It is more of a selfish act then what most people realize.