Why "Transformations of a Caterpillar"

I chose the title of my blog, Transformations of a Caterpillar, because that is how I see myself.  I feel that as a child I was so ugly. Not necessarily in a physical way, although I have struggled with my outward appearance, but on the inside, where I came from and what I knew.  I had the sins of my "parents" to carry around, I was different, I was not comfortable in my own skin, I was pushed around and most of all until I was in my mid teens I felt completely and utterly alone as well as unloved.  Much is the same as a caterpillar, although I think they know that they are destined for a beautiful life of fluttering.  But at the stage that they are a caterpillar and they are by no means "beautiful", they don't socialize and I'm sure they enter a point in their lives that they are not comfortable in their own skin, thus the amazing transformation.  Caterpillars grow so fast that they can shed their skin up to 5 times before they make the amazing transformation.  I too know that feeling.  Ok, so I never shed my skin, however I did have massive growing pains.  I am 6'3.5"!!! In junior high I quit playing basketball, a sport that I love, because by growing pains were outrageous!

I am a strong resilient person, but it came at a price.  I don't easily trust people, I keep my emotions (until now) to myself, I guard my heart with a massive stone wall and I always second guess peoples intentions.  I am headstrong and persistent, but also very caring and nurturing.  A caterpillar must be fond of these feelings as well.  They are extremely protective of themselves, as bigger creatures (birds) like to eat them!  They can be poisonous or even spray acid at their attacker.  What super sneaky creatures they are!  Caterpillars eventually will change into a beautiful creature, a Butterfly!  They will then flutter around and make people smile.  What was once considered a nuisance is now a much needed pollinator! They also aid in eating insects that may be harmful to crops.  They migrate and socialize. They are beautifully delicate and smart, they can blend into their surroundings and also show off their flair.

I want to be that one day, I want to transform into a butterfly!